In Asia, especially in Malaysia, a married couple would surely wanted to have children of their own. And for most, they would want to have babies as soon as they could, meaning in a year period after they officially gets married. Only a small percentage of married couple avoids to have their first child a.s.a.p and taking many preventives measures. This might due to the economical factors, work commitments , age, health and mental readiness in raising a kid.

As for those couples who really wanted to have their first baby a.s.a.p, most of them will easily achieved their wish without need to undergone any special processes nor taking special supplement. What they need to do is just sex and 9 months later, they will have their babies.

But there are certain percentage of couples that had been trying and trying to have babies but they can’t. When a couple decided to have a baby, there will be no preventive measures taken and every month they would eagerly wait for the good news. But when this waiting period ‘pro-longing’ from months to a year and years, then something started to alarming. Automatically the couple would start to get worried.

Based on my true life experience, I would like to share my experience to all, especially to couples who had been trying very hard in having a baby.

From the first day that I got married with my wife, we straightly decided to have our first child. We even had choosen a name for our baby before we got married. A year past by and my wife still haven’t shows any signs of pregnancy. Yes, I had to admit that my wife is having problems with her monthly period whereby she had irregular period cycle that sometimes hard for us to determined whether she’s pregnant or not. The only way to solves this is when she failed, we will use the Pregnancy Test Kit (Urine) to test whether she is pregnant or it’s just the regular false alarm.

A couple of months after we get married, 2 of her sisters also got married. And both became pregnant immediately and they have their child in a period of one year. We’re happy for them but internally, this causing uneasy feelings and pressure to us as we’re the one who get married first, but they succeeded us in having babies.

On the 2nd year, after 2 months she did not had her menstrual cycle (I also did not buy the Pregnancy Test Kit due to frequents false alarm), she had a very painful stomach pain and started bleeding. As she was almost fainting, I brought her to a Private Hospital and it’s confirmed that she was having a miscarriage. I felt very sad as I did not even knew that she’s pregnant. But according to the doctor, it’s just a month old and there shall be no complication whatsoever to my wife. A year after this incident, we still haven’t got a baby and it’s very pressuring to us mentally especially to my wife. Then again, she had a miscarriage (also without noticing of her pregnancy) in towards the 4th year of our anniversary.

After 4 years of failure to have at least a baby, we had looked into this matter seriously and we started to see an O&G Consultant. She did a few test on my wife also she asked for my sperm sample. She was mentioning that by the X-Ray result (my wife), she found some cervix related issues and want us to come for a follow up treatment. My wife really get worried and depressed. Even she’s became afraid to seek treatment again. So, we ended up by not seeing any specialist anymore.

As for our 5th year, relatives and friends started to burdening our pressure by asking sensitive questions to myself and my wife. “how long has you been married?” “how many child do you have?” “why can’t you have a baby?” “have you gone to see a doctor to know why you cannot get pregnant?” Some even straightly put it on my face as “you are weak, that’s why you can’t have a baby” “you do not know how to shoot”, I knew that they’re trying to cheer-up the situation but deep inside me, I felt really hurt and depressed. At this stage, we almost adopt a child after a recommendation from one of my assistant but we did not proceed with the adoption process when a few close family members advised us not to.

Then, after being silenced for 5 years, my mother-in-law seriously asked us on what happened. Surprisingly, she strictly said to my wife to get a treatment whether Professionally or Traditionally. She scold my wife to being afraid to treatment and medicine. But I knew that is the only motivation words/approached from her mom to make my wife tune back her mind in looking for treatment.

The day after, we went to a Traditional Medicine Partitioner in Langkawi, Kedah Darul Aman and seeks his advised. What he did was that he threw us a few questions and asked us to come back to his place in a day time. So what he did was, by judging from our answers, he will go into the woods and looks for traditional herbs and roots.

We came back the next day and before he handed to us the traditional medicine, he asked my wife to eat a ‘piper betle’ leave on the spot and gave her another 2 ‘piper betle’ for her to consume scheduled 1 leave per day. After that, he handed over the traditional medicines consisting of herbs and wild forest roots. He asked us to boiled the medicines and my wife need to drink it daily. But it must be boiled strictly by using a clay pot. After meeting him, we straightly went to look for a clay pot and bought it back with us.

Without failed, my wife consumed the ‘piper betle ‘ for the next 2 days and drink the traditional medicine daily. And of course we had our sex as normal. Before the medicines was about to finished (+/-1 month), my wife started to have a symptom of a pregnant lady, drowsiness and had the intention of vomiting. I straightly bought the Pregnancy Test Kit and the result was positive. I still haven’t satisfied with the result and brought with my wife to see an O&G Specialist and it’s confirmed that my wife was pregnant. Only God knows how happy we were and I started to called my parents, her parents and relatives to deliver this good news. Once she got pregnant, she stopped taking the traditional herbs and roots as being told by the Traditional Medicines Practitioner.

I had never failed to bring my wife to her monthly check-up with the O&G Specialist, Dr. Fong Pok San from Mahkota Medical Centre. Then, we had our first baby (a girl) after 6 years of waiting and I am very thankful to God. I went back to Langkawi with our baby to see the Traditional Medicine Practitioner and gave him some sincere tokens for his efforts in helping us in getting a baby. He was just happy to see our baby and he did not give anymore medicine to us during this visit. Almost 2 years later, we had our 2nd child (a boy) and now we have a couple of beautiful kids that we always love and they really cheer-up our live. My eldest is now 5 years old and my 2nd is 4 years old. We are now looking forward to have our 3rd child.

To those couples who are facing the same problem as we did, be patient, do not loose hope and try both professional and traditional solutions. If you had been trying for 1 to 3 years to have a baby and still haven’t succeed, do not give up and may my true story will give hopes and motivations.

Cheers.

Main Photo : Courtesy / With Permission of katwillcox (thanks Kat)